Don't Play With Your Food
by jaxink
Summary: On a lazy Saturday afternoon, Leo observes his brother's interesting eating habits. First place for BEST MICHELANGELO SCENE in the 2005 TMNT Fanfic Competition -oneshot-


_Disclaimer: Don't own it._

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**Don't Play With Your Food**

On a lazy Saturday afternoon, four turtles and their rat sensei could be found strewn about their home in the sewers tending to whatever happened to meet their fancy.

Donatello could be found tinkering with thingamajigs, doodads, and gizmos in his lab/work area.

The clever turtle was working away and making a racket.

**Clink.**

**Spark.**

**Click.**

**Drill.**

**Buzz.**

Raphael could be found kicking the shell out of an unsuspecting practice dummy in the dojo.

The frustrated turtle was kicking and punching his helpless (and lifeless) victim furiously.

**Thud.**

**Grunt.**

**Thwap.**

**Yell.**

**Curse.**

Master Splinter could be found peacefully mediating in his room.

The sage ninjitsu master was…well, meditating quietly.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Inhale._ Nothing too exciting…

Leonardo had also been meditating within his own room, but at this moment, could be found entering the kitchen for a little break. Little did he know of the horrors that waited for him…

The katana-wielding turtle shuffled dazedly into the kitchen, quite enjoying this rare day of relaxation and laziness. He had been meditating for the better part of the day, and he was now ready for a snack break.

Walking up to the cabinets where they kept most of their foods classified as "snacks," Leo threw them open ready to enjoy something to satisfy his slight hunger. Unfortunately, the cabinets were more bare than those of Old Mother Hubbard. And he'd be darned before he starved like her poor old dog!

Turning around to exit the kitchen to question his family about the whereabouts of the snack foods, Leo found he did not have to venture very far.

Where was Michelangelo this lazy afternoon? Keeping himself occupied in the kitchen, of course.

Michelangelo could be found sitting at the table stuffing his mouth full of food and blowing bubbles with a straw in his glass of chocolate milk.

The sometimes half-witted turtle made an array of interesting sounds and displayed a comical sight.

**Slurp.**

**Crunch.**

**Crack.**

**Pop.**

**Cough?**

Ah wait, he seemed to have slightly choked on a gummy bear. Oh good, he's managed to dislodge it from his throat.

"Mikey, what are you doing?" Leo inquired as he joined his little brother at the table, although the answer seemed quite obvious.

"Mmpf hum sghpf," Mikey answered matter-of-factly.

With a roll of his eyes, Leo glared at his poorly mannered brother. "What was that? I couldn't hear you through the hoards of food sloshing around your mouth."

After an enormous swallow, Mike restated, "I'm eating. What does it look like, bro?"

"I figured as much…but do you really need everything we have to eat out on the table?" questioned Leonardo, absently reaching for a BBQ chip.

"If you're hungry, just dig in." Mikey carried on with his eating. His elder brother shrugged and stood to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

Fascinated by his ill-mannered brother's eating habits, Leo munched on a few pretzels here and there as he observed the strange scene unfolding before him.

Lined up before Mikey were several snack foods that actually _resembled_ things. This collection included the following fine consumer products: Teddy Grahams, Gummy Worms, Animal Crackers, and Disney Princess fruit snacks. In addition, he had his enormous glass of chocolate milk.

Bags were carelessly ripped open and several of the aforementioned foods remained scattered across the tabletop. Mikey proceeded to pick some of them up and play out the following scenario.

He lifted the artificially flavored orange Cinderella and hopped her across the table singing, "A dream is a wish your heart makes. La, la, la…I'm going to the ball to see my handsome Prince Charming."

Suddenly, her path to the enchanted castle of carefully stacked Pringles was blocked by — _gasp_ — the evil Lord Graham!

A quite entertained Michelangelo gave a petite, smiling bear with a delicious hint of graham cracker taste a maniacal laugh. His green fingers placed the seemingly non-evil Teddy on first appearance in front of the fruity damsel.

"Halt! I, the evil Lord Graham, ruler of all Teddies, am here to lock you away in my tower! Bwuahahaha!" Mikey voiced in a small, malevolence tone.

He continued with a high-pitched squeak of fear from Cinderella. "Oh no! How will I ever make it to the ball?"

Lord Graham whisked Cinderella away to his tower — the large, towering glass of chocolate milk. Mikey somehow managed to stuff the fruit snack…er, Cinderella into the straw.

"You will never escape now! I'd like to see your Prince Charming rescue you now!" screeched Mike as the fiendish Lord Graham.

Then, with quite a valiant tone, Michelangelo threw his arm into the air and shouted, "Have no fear! I shall rescue you, Cinderella."

The orange clad turtle searched through the pile of animal crackers and brought forth a turtle! However, a frown soon graced Mikey's face as he discovered the turtle was missing a leg. With a shrug, he grabbed a gummy worm, and the turtle cracker was on its way from the Pringle castle to the evil tower of chocolate milk.

Humming a daring theme song, the cracker rode its gallant steed, a green and orange colored gummy worm, to indefinite danger.

The turtle cracker yelled to the evil Lord Graham, "Release her, brute. You shall never win!"

The Teddy simply sneered, "Careful, terrapin! Don't make me send her to a chocolaty grave!"

"You wouldn't dare," challenged Prince Charming, also known as the turtle cracker.

With another evil chortle, Lord Graham smirked. "You cannot win."

"Oh, we'll see about that," shot back the defiant cracker.

From her entrapment in the straw, Cinderella shouted, "Oh help me, my prince!"

"Take this, Lord Graham!"

Mikey scooped up the wicked bear and bit of his stubby little arm, then a leg, then an ear…until only a head remained. "Ugh, the agony. I can't take the pain! Just finish me off," Mikey had the bear whimper in a pathetic voice.

He raised the turtle cracker next to his head and said, "The end is here for you, Lord Graham."

In a protestation, the bear shouted, "No! Anything but the chocolate milk!"

Michelangelo threw the Teddy Graham head into the glass and pulled his fruity Cinderella from her straw prison. He mashed the turtle animal cracker and fruit snack together while making kissing noises. "Mwa, mwa, mwa. My _hero_!" Cinderella squeaked out.

Finally, Mikey pulled the soaked bear head out of the glass and popped it into his mouth. He finished off Prince Charming and Cinderella as well, not to forget about the gummy worm steed.

With a satisfied smile, Mike looked up from his snacking and pretend play to see the completely stunned face of his older brother. In complete wonder, he asked, "What?"

Simply sighing and standing with a shake of his head, Leo readied himself to leave the kitchen with his now half empty bottle of water. Turning one last time to look at his little brother in a dumbfounded state, Leo scolded, "Didn't Splinter ever tell you not to play with your food?"

Mikey nodded. "Sure, plenty of times. What's your point?"

After letting out an exasperated breath, Leo just sighed, "Never mind. You're such a lost cause, Mike."

The blue clad turtle exited the kitchen and left Michelangelo to his adventures with snack foods.

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_A/N: I have no idea where it came from, but it made me laugh. I know everyone has probably played with their food at least once…maybe not to these extremes though._


End file.
